When I awoke this morning I didn't spend my waking moments guessing what time it was, my thoughts immediately went to some men who had shown me Jesus in very significant ways during a time in my life that I didn't model Him properly. I was the Associate Minister with a particular congregation for around 9 years combining two different tenures. My first length of time was 5 and half years and began when I was 23 years old. There were two congregations of this particular denomination in town and "we" were deemed the conservative bunch and of course the other church as the liberal bunch. Those were very polarizing words in this setting. Basically they mean we were right and they were wrong to put it simply.
Now I want to bring this down to an individual level. As one of the ministers I always felt it was my duty to stand for the truth and point out error where ever I encountered it. Much of my effort was put into finding fault with our sister congregation in town. One of their Elders, Don, was the target of some of my barbs because of his "liberal" stands on so many issues of the day. Our relationship was cordial, but strained due to my part of course. I tended to be harsh in our one on one discussions because that's what I was supposed to do right? Don on the other hand almost always had a kind spirit and a gentle word for me, and was a constant encourager. I found that frustrating and sometimes felt it contrived (it wasn't). In later years the same liberal congregation hired a new preacher, Jack, and he and I developed a very similar relationship to what I had with Don. They spent their time with me trying to gently and lovingly model a relationship with Jesus, and I spent my time with them trying to point out how they were breaking the contract in so many places. They loved me, and in my own way I loved them and we were friends really.
My time as a minister ended rather abruptly late in 1998 due to my marriage falling apart, which is a story unto itself. There were many rumors floating around about me, and as with rumors some of it was true and much of it was not. Don and Jack had no idea what really happened, but they did know Jesus and despite my attitudes toward them over the years, they individually reached out to me during what I look back on as the worst time of my life. They showed me love based on a relationship, and not based on contractual obligation.
As I look back over the last 27 years since I first met Don and then later Jack, I can't help but think about the many people that Jesus encountered and how he treated them. I think of great passages of scripture like Romans 14 that tell me to accept anyone who accepts Jesus even though we may have very strong differences, but mostly I think about these two men who have left this existence and how much they gave me. I certainly loved and appreciated them when they reached out to me during that dark time, but I'm even more mindful of what they did for me over a period of years, and how they modeled Jesus for me in ways that still profoundly impact my life today. I've unknowingly honored them and continued their work by becoming of lover of relationships rather than rules. Thank you my brothers. I miss you both!
Fosh
Romans 14 from The Message (Oh how I would have gotten on to them for using this version back in the day.)
1Welcome
with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do.
And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you
don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but
weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to
deal with. Treat them gently.
2-4For
instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be
convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a
different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and
eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t
it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or
didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have
any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with
God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be
learned, God can handle that without your help.
5Or,
say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and
another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are
good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the
convictions of conscience.
6-9What’s important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God’s
sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for
prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God
and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our
own way in these matters. It’s God
we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in
between—not each other. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived
again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life
and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.
10-12So
where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does
that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you
looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up
kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your
critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position
there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:
“As I live and breathe,” God says,
“every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
that I and only I am God.”
So tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.
13-14Forget
about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be
concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making
life more difficult than it already is. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced
me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the
way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.
15-16If
you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don’t
eat, you’re no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These,
remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them
to hell over an item in their diet? Don’t you dare let a piece of
God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!
17-18God’s
kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’
sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it
together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly
serve Christ. Do that and you’ll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing
the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.
19-21So
let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other.
Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding
fault. You’re certainly not going to permit an argument over what is
served or not served at supper to wreck God’s work among you, are you? I
said it before and I’ll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn
bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them
sprawling. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not
be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive
and courteous to the others who are eating. Don’t eat or say or do
things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.
22-23Cultivate
your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re
fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re
not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with
what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others,
other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of
line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then
it’s wrong.
