My Friend Doesn't Believe in the Christian god.

"If you have an opinion, and somebody disagrees, let them. Just make it known what you think about the issue, listen to them closely, and then love and care about them regardless. If they keep trying to change your mind, gently explain to them that you simply don’t agree, but you don’t want it to interrupt your friendship. If people can only be friends with others who think the way they think, this is a weakness in character." Donald Miller

No sooner had  I posted this than my friend Jan (her name has been changed to protect the....you get my drift) sent me an inbox with a great link to a TED talk about compassion.  I've known her for probably a year and half, and you see Jan "doesn't believe in the Christian god", but she is my friend.  Some might ask how this is possible since she doesn't  believe in my core belief.  I don't know how to explain this dynamic, but I do know it works for both of us.  We've had several discussions about church, God (or god as she would put it), religion, spirituality, family, guys, girls and it's usually most enlightening for both of us.  You see we don't have the same ideas on most of those subjects, but we're both open to listen and learn what the other thinks.  

Tonight, in a Facebook chat, I said to her, "I always hesitate to ask people to label themselves but I think you know me well enough I'm just searching for context in your thoughts, where in the spectrum of Christian all the way over to Atheist do you put yourself, or do you even fit there?'  I love the thoughtfulness and honesty in her reply. "That's an interesting spectrum. Because being a so called Christian doesn't make you opposite of atheist. I've looked into a lot of religious beliefs and I can appreciate different things and take what I like from it. I don't believe in the Christian god. I don't even like the Christian god very much. But I believe in the universe as best I can call it. Some guiding force of life. It's kind of like the concept of Taoism in some ways."  These are core places we are discussing, and it could be uneasy and difficult because these are certainly not my beliefs, but in reality it is very easy conversation, because we accept each other right where we are.  

She went on to say "I am spiritual person not a religious person. I don't worship anything except I like to gain wisdom through other people and decide what I think is right. So I don't go to church but I watch TED talks and maybe some Oprah. Because I think it's more important to be the best version of myself possible to make the world better. And I think we don't need a bible or our parents to give us purpose. How can you lack purpose when there is so much that can be done all around us. If you can get past materialism and selfishness to a point you'll understand there's so much purpose in the world. I have a relationship with the universe. I think it speaks to me in its own language."  Even for me as a believer in the Christian God I find kernels of truth in this.  

I could react like I would have in my earlier years and sent back some reactionary words.  Instead we had the following exchange. I said, "Thank you for sharing that with me. As we say around here 'that'll give me something to chew on for awhile'. I love your honesty and the fact that you THINK."  Her reply sent shivers up my spine. "I like that you think. Which is why I like sharing these things with you. You're the only Christian I know that doesn't make me want to bash religion."  How sad that her exposure to Christians has caused her to believe we don't think, and cause her to want to bash religion. I can't say that I fault her in this.  I remember how vehemently I would have opposed these words in the past, and Jan wouldn't have had a conversation like this with that version of Jamey.

To be honest, I want to bash religion, and focus on relationship.  Relationships with people, and my relationship with God.  A final comment she made helps wrap this up quite nicely.  "I like that you're trying to bridge a gap here."  Amazing words.  Isn't that what Jesus is all about.  Bridging the gap between God and Man.  Jan and I are bridging the gap between people.  A gap that for some would seem insurmountable, but because we both care about "relationship" we are friends.  Do we agree? No. Will we ever?  On some things absolutely, on others time will answer that question.  I do know that we connect and because of that we will both change because of the exchange of ideas.  Hopefully both of us for the better.  

_________________________________________________________________________

 The quotes from Jan are a small part of our conversation and do not convey the totality of her beliefs.  The quotes work contextually to convey the conversation, and she has graciously allowed me to use her words for this blog.